my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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