Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
