Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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