Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
