My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
tell your sister to shave her snatch
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
