i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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