This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Can you bring me the toilet please
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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