The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
