Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
