Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
