No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
