Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
