do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
