Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Couch. On fire.
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