girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
