All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
