i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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