There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Boobs are out for the taking
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
