I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
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