She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
