I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
