Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize