So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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