I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
if only i could text you this smell
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
