This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
