just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
