I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
