physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
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