Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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