JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
