No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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