I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I don't deserve a penis
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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