I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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