Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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