I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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