normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
it's great music for shaving your balls
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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