You're so nebulous sometimes
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize