Define "chronic" masturbator.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She's the barista slut.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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