Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
