i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
be right there i have to get my cape
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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