Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
