so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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