What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
