I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
