So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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