the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
