So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
