Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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