also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
