Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
