Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
