is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
