I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
