That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
she pinky promised me she was 18
ttyl tear gas
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
