I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I can't put those talents on a resume
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
