Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
