She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
